My big Greek wedding it may technically be a romantic comedy, but the 2002 film is just as much a remarkably loving and accurate sociological depiction of the everyday lives of Greek-Americans. The film goes to great lengths to encompass many of the lived experiences of Greek Americans, from the rituals of social gatherings to the conflicts that arise between extended family members.
Throughout, even when it satirizes some of these elements and risks turning some characters into stereotypes, My big Greek wedding analyzes Greek-American culture through an entirely loving lens. There is no harsh criticism in this film, but a warm and engaging depiction of, as Toula calls, “the history of our people, the great civilization: the Greeks.”
10 Greek school as a rite of passage
Language learning is a major part of most American children’s school experience, whether it means learning mainstream Spanish or French, or the less conventional Latin. But for Greek-American children, there is another essential element of learning their language in their younger years: the Greek school, usually housed in the Greek Orthodox church their family attends.
My big Greek wedding briefly encapsulates this via a quick flashback sequence that embodies the experience. Toula recounts this summary of her childhood: “While the pretty girls got to go to Brownies, I got to go to Greek school. In Greek school, I learned valuable lessons like, ‘If Nick has one goat and Mary has nine, how are they going to get married soon?'”
9 Big family dinners
The family dinner is a key component of many family relationships, whether in real life or on film and television. Sitcoms and family dramas would barely exist without heated and controversial conversations held around the dinner table. But My big Greek wedding shows that while the Greeks have their own version of the family dinner, it happens on a much larger scale than most.
When Toula invites Ian’s parents to “meet the family,” she naively expects this to mean having dinner with her parents and possibly her brother Nick. Instead, Maria and Gus invite every brother, sister, cousin, niece, nephew, uncle, aunt, and so on, resulting in a full-on Greek party right in their front yard, complete with a lamb which is cooked on a spit. Many Greek family celebrations take this scale too lightly.
8 The Immigrant Experience Vs. The First Generation
In recent years, stories covering intergenerational tensions in parent-child relationships have become increasingly common. Likewise, the complex relationship between an immigrant parent and a first-generation child continues to be mined for television and film content with great success, regardless of country of origin.
My big Greek wedding was ahead of the curve when it was released in 2002 and covered the complex father-daughter relationship between Gus and Toula. The struggle between an immigrant parent’s vision of their child’s future and the first-generation child’s rebellion against the constraints the parent places on them is something that Greek-Americans, among many other cultures, contend with to this day.
7 Living with your parents until you get married
Many coming-of-age films prominently feature a main character’s desire to leave their family home once they turn 18. Some of them even have their parents eager to kick them out of the house as soon as the clock strikes midnight on their 18th birthday. In Greek-American culture, this is completely unheard of.
In the Greek world, it’s not just common, but almost completely expected for an adult to live in their family home with their parents (and their extended family, like Toula’s grandmother Yiayia) until they get married. Even further, once the grown children marry, they don’t move very far – like when Toula and Ian move next door.
6 Spit, charm and kiss
Every culture has its own unique social ritual. Many cultures have rituals that go a little too far in terms of respecting someone’s boundaries, especially when they’ve just met in the first place. My big Greek wedding illustrates many of these boundary-pushing rituals in great detail.
Adults often spit throughout the film to prevent bad thoughts and jealousies from being directed at those they love. When the extended family finally meets Ian, he is engulfed by a sea of Greeks who want to pinch his cheeks and kiss him, either on the face or on the lips, one by one. Any Greek-Americans reading this will most likely just cringe as years of printed pages suddenly flash back to their minds in vivid detail.
5 Family Restaurant
Family restaurants are the main theme of stories from many cultures, such as Italian and Chinese. Many families actually have at least one relative who runs their restaurant, which becomes a gathering place not only for the family itself, but for the community at large.
This is especially true for Greek-Americans, a fact that has been represented in popular culture by the Olympia Cafe on Saturday Night Live to Frasier. Of course, My big Greek wedding prominently features the Portokalos family restaurant, called Dancing Zorba’s, which serves as a set piece for key moments of family conflict, romantic interests, and community-wide celebrations.
4 The more, the better
It’s almost a stereotype in itself at this point, to depict any particularly “ethnic” culture in film and television as being loud just for the sake of being loud, as in many Italian-American films. The contrast between Toula’s loud and proud Greek family and Ian’s very reserved WASP family speaks for itself in this regard, especially when the two families finally meet for the first time.
But if they’re interacting with “strangers” (or, as Gus calls them, Xenon), arguing among themselves, or participating in family celebrations in restaurants or on front lawns, the Greeks who populate the caste of My big Greek wedding have one volume and one volume only: loud.
3 They’re all related to Alexander the Great, aren’t they?
While this story does not develop until the sequel My Big Greek Wedding 2, is still a uniquely Greek-American experience that cannot be missed. In his older years, Gus becomes convinced that the Portokalos family line is a direct descendant of Alexander the Great, the ancient Greek hero of Macedonian origin.
There is no way to prove that anyone is directly related, given the thousands of years that have passed and the conflicting reports about the lineage Alexander left behind. But Toula nonetheless pokes fun at her father’s beliefs and devises a lineage test that “proves” their genetic link to Alexander. Many Greeks who make fun of their relatives’ adherence to this faith can fully understand.
2 Food is a complex love language
As should be clear by now, food plays a big role not only in My big Greek wedding but also in Greek and Greek-American culture as a whole. Families always eat together and the older generations show their love to the younger generations by cooking hearty meals and passing down their recipes from generation to generation.
Toula explains this well at the beginning of the film: “My mom always cooked meals filled with warmth and wisdom, and she never forgot that side dish of hot guilt.“ Family and food go hand in hand, so it’s only natural that the relationship between them is as complex as the relationship between each family member.
1 Being Greek is the best thing you can be
It’s a theme throughout My big Greek wedding: there is no better thing a person can be than a Greek. Gus says it himself: “Toula, there are two types of people: Greeks and everyone else who would like to be Greek.”
Gus in particular takes pride in listing the things the Greeks were the first culture to do, finding the Greek origin of every word, and reminding anyone and everyone that they should be proud of their Greek heritage. Many real-life Greeks and Greek-Americans often do the same, regardless of the environment in which they find themselves. There is no end to Greek pride, something the film captures very well.
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