It’s corporate layoff season. On Thursday, a leaked internal memo from Twitter leaked about pending layoffs. On Friday morning, an “unknown number of individuals” learned their fate… likely after a night of lost sleep for some.
When dealing with the looming uncertainty of possible layoffs, Dr. Sheehan Fisher, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, encourages people to look to healthy coping mechanisms, such as talking to family and friends.
“An impending break will obviously create a lot of anxiety for anyone about what’s going to happen and the danger is that the person can start to imagine all the ways their life can fall apart and go wrong,” he explains. “And that can be overwhelming without actually having any data on what will or won’t happen.”
Instead of dwelling on the future, Fisher suggests engaging in a more mindful state, whether it’s listening to a guided meditation, practicing yoga, or unplugging.
“You’ll pretty much dream about all the worst-case scenarios, which just makes you more stressed than necessary until you know what’s going to happen,” he says. “And usually that fear is worse than what will actually happen. If you are going to be laid off, you will likely learn how to navigate it and be able to adapt. But when you’re dreaming about what’s going to happen, you can assume your life is over.”
Although layoffs are extremely personal, they don’t just affect the person who was laid off. Read on to learn how to cope no matter which side of the news you’re on.
What to do if you’re the one who got fired…
If you find yourself on the receiving end of a “we regret to inform you” email or conversation, Fisher recommends taking a step back from the situation to digest the news before reacting.
“Sometimes we want to fix the problem right away or try to find a way to stop feeling bad, but it’s important to take the time to grieve and really feel the loss,” he says. “It’s almost like a death where you have to let yourself grieve even though the grief is very painful.”
After you’ve had some time to grieve and process, you can start thinking about next steps in terms of what will help advance your career.
“Sometimes people might take a bad job just to have work and feel better about themselves, but they’re not necessarily thinking about what’s the best next step for my career,” Fisher says. . “And part of the reason for leaving a job is not just the loss of your income. It’s about all the different aspirations and networks created while they were in that role. It is about a person’s view of their identity and worth, which is often tied to their job and title. So to lose is like not only losing a job, but losing yourself.”
When it comes to finding your next role, Fisher recommends asking for feedback from others to make sure they’re level-headed about next steps versus being reactionary. He also encourages people to seek professional help before their mental health begins to suffer.
“People tend to wait to see me when they’ve been depressed for months versus being proactive,” he says. “Early intervention is key because it can help you make good choices about taking on a new role versus starting off on the wrong foot.”
A therapist or psychologist can also help someone who has been laid off manage the post-traumatic stress of losing a job, as well as offer helpful ways to transition into a new role.
“It’s almost like someone who was cheated on and in their next relationship they’re so worried that it’s going to happen again that they’re so focused on it that they’re not able to give the relationship their all,” Fisher explains. “The same thing happens at work where you can be so preoccupied with not getting fired that you’re not performing at an optimal level, which can actually repeat the process.”
What to do if your colleague is fired, but you are not…
Survivor’s remorse over layoffs can come in two stages, Fisher says. First it’s worrying that even though you survived this round, your role may be next and then it’s guilt.
“You want to maintain your sensitivity and care for other people without taking on the full burden of someone else,” he says.
It is also important not to be overly optimistic about the situation.
“People have to be careful because sometimes we want to say something positive, but it can actually be dismissive of the person’s experience,” says Fisher. “Saying ‘it’ll be fine’ or ‘you’ll find another job’ doesn’t allow a person to fully sit in their experience.”
Although we may want to ease someone else’s pain from our own discomfort, there’s nothing wrong with crying at work. Once your colleague has had a chance to process, then it might be okay to offer hands-on help with references or sending new leads, but it’s important to give them space to go through the stages of grief.
What to do if you’re the one taking the time off…
There has been a lot of talk lately about compassionate layoffs and for good reasons. Although layoffs are often business decisions, there are still real people affected – on both sides.
“People respond better when there’s real interaction,” says Fisher. “So if you go into sterile, robotic conversation, the person at the end will not only feel rested, but also feel like all those years that passed meant nothing.”
Once again, showing true human emotion requires an element of being uncomfortable. “It would be helpful for both parties to acknowledge what’s happening in the room and why it’s happening,” says Fisher. However, he cautions against managers feeling overly responsible and then wallowing in guilt as it can be self-defeating.
What To Do If Your Loved One Gets Fired…
If your spouse or partner has recently been laid off, Fisher suggests extending grace as they navigate their new normal.
“Try to contextualize what they’re going through and how that might affect how they behave at home for a while,” he says. “It’s also important that you try to support them through the process without coming across as if you see them as a failure, or that your view of their worth is beginning to change.”
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