The day after the 2019 General Election, a woman from Durham took to Twitter to start howling at the moon.
The election, she said, had been “an adjustment”. In fact, Jeremy Corbyn had won. But he was deceived by this.
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This deluded thief, who went by the name “Lisa,” had direct evidence of that.
She had been campaigning for the ghastly local Labor candidate Laura Pidcock.
I am pleased to say that Laura lost and the Conservative candidate won.
According to Lisa, it MUST have been fixed because: “New Tory MP Richard Holden rarely gets 200 likes on a tweet or Facebook post, but Laura gets thousands of likes within minutes. . . “
And there you have it, why the left is so crazy and almost always wrong.
Or at least one of the reasons.
They think Twitter is the whole world.
If Twitter says something, it must be true.
It’s strange how so many people can be so pale.
In his farewell address to Parliament, Boris Johnson said one of the truest things he has ever said. (Yeah, yeah, not much competition for that price, I know.)
Offering advice to whoever is our next prime minister, Rishi or Liz, he warned them: “It’s not Twitter that matters.”
Dead right. Very wise words – because, incredibly, even beyond the Left, some people take Twitter seriously.
Public relations dingbats, for example, and special counsel.
Crazy minority
They see that something is trending on Twitter and they put themselves in a good old mood.
They are terrified that public opinion is swaying against them.
They force their company, or their politician, to retract whatever they say caused the internet hoo-ha.
And they make things much, much worse for themselves.
They don’t realize that the silent majority—those people who aren’t always stabbing at their phones with saliva dribbling down their chins and signing #crazierthan-ashithouserat—can’t talk about what’s trending on Twitter.
They believe – rightly – that, as David Cameron said: “A lot of tweets make a lot of noise.”
Listen, Twitter doesn’t remotely reflect public opinion.
It’s a screaming, obsessive, liberal gathering. Discord with each other. Reinforcing each other’s thoughts.
Don’t take my word for it though.
Super rich Elon Musk would buy Twitter.
He described it as “a strong left-wing bias”.
OK, not everyone on Twitter is clinically insane and further to the right than a fish knife.
I know a few people who tweet from time to time and they’re kind of okay, although I wouldn’t let them run anything.
But that’s another point. Twitter is not even a representative of, er . . . people who use Twitter.
Yes, I know that sounds crazy. But it is true.
They did a study in the US. It appears that 80 percent of Twitter’s content is provided by only ten percent of users.
So the site is dominated by a small percentage of really obsessive, self-righteous, w**kpuffins with too much time on their hands.
Journalist and former Conservative politician Dan Hannan – now Baron Hannan to you – tried to understand why Twitter was so left-wing.
He concluded that this is because the medium lends itself to short, emotional statements.
And the Left love nothing more than short emotional statements, usually ending with “Tory scum!”
That’s probably part of it.
But more importantly, the vast majority of people in this country are not political obsessives, as another Tory great, Lord Tebbit, once pointed out.
They would like good government, of course.
They know how to define a “woman”.
They wouldn’t mind the occasional tax cut either.
But generally they are not involved in the political debate.
Truth be told, it bores them stiff.
And they are not so full of themselves that they think they know the answer to every political question.
They just get on with their lives and leave it to the Twitterati.
These are the people who matter if you are a politician who wants to win an election.
They make up the 68 percent of the population that NEVER access Twitter.
Because only 19 million Brits have a Twitter account. And – remember that poll – that means less than two million are on it all the time, screaming blue murder.
So if politicians take the blind rage of Twitter too seriously, then the country is being dictated to by about four percent of the population.
That’s something to keep in mind the next time you hear that a comedian is “trending” because he told a joke that offended someone.
Or that there is outrage over a plan to deport asylum seekers in Rwanda.
The country does not speak.
It’s just a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing.
It’s just Twitter.
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